Break Me, Cheat Me, Hurt Me
by Caelyn Lupin-Black
Summary: Remus and Harry were in a relationship before Remus broke it. Now with his eleven year old daughter going to Hogwarts, Harry finds himself getting sicker. Can Remus take him back or will he stay with Sirius? HarryxRemus, SiriusxRemus
1. Prologue

**Break Me, Cheat Me, Hurt Me**  
_Written by: Caelyn Lupin_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter or anything remotely related to it. I am mere a writer who decided to take her turn in playing in the Harry Potter sandbox. It all belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Inc., Warner Bros., and any other entities involved.

**Prologue**

It was a gorgeous day outside. The sun was shining brightly and the temperature was perfect for a little stroll around the park. Several families took the opportunity to head out and enjoy the weather while it lasted. Harry Potter wasn't a fool to waste an opportunity to get out of his place. He had some decisions to think about whilst he was out walking around the park.

He had just gotten back from a medical clinic that was in town. Clutched in his hand was a piece of paper that had made him want to think before he went home to his fiancé, Remus Lupin. Harry knew he had to tell Remus about this new development. He didn't want any secrets kept from his lover, as Remus never kept any secrets from him either. Besides, this was happy news and Merlin knew that they needed good news more than anything.

Resolved with his decision, Harry walked the short distance to his home. Technically, Remus and Harry had bought the house together and they were planning on living in it together once they were married. Smiling, the dark-haired man opened the front door.

"Remy?" he called, shutting the door behind him. "Where are you?"

"In the kitchen," Remus called back. "Could you come here, actually? There's something I need to speak to you about."

"I also have something to talk to you about too." Harry's smile widened. He knew his lover was going to be ecstatic to hear the news.

But his smile faded when he entered the kitchen. Remus was sitting at the dining table with Sirius at his side. They were holding hands. Harry also noticed the engagement ring he had gotten Remus was sitting on the table.

"W-what's going on?" he asked nervously, a lump growing in his throat.

Remus let out a sigh and stared at the hand that was joined with Sirius'. "I'm afraid that I haven't been truthful to you, Harry. And I think it's time that I let the cat out of the bag." He took in a breath. "I never loved you like you love me. I was only fooling myself, being with you when I happened to be in love with someone else." He smiled at Harry's godfather, who smiled back.

"Oh," was all Harry had to say. He could have said so much more, but he was too shocked to say anything mean or nasty.

"I left the house to you, as you do need a place to live in rather than an apartment. Padfoot and I have already decided to live in Grimmauld Place until we find somewhere to live." Remus and Sirius started to get up. "I hope there are no hard feelings between us."

Harry stared at the hand that Remus had stuck out at him. He couldn't believe this was happening. Remus never loved him like a lover? Was this someone's sick idea of a prank? Sighing, the dark-haired man shook the hand. "No."

Remus smiled. "Great. We'll be in touch." The two left the house, leaving Harry alone.

All Harry could do was continue to stare at the door, wishing that Remus would come back through it and say that it was all Sirius' idea, that the werewolf really did love him and still wanted to get married after almost two years of commitment to each other. Finally, he could no longer take it. Harry began to scream and yell and shout and cry, cursing Remus' name. He didn't throw things but he dearly wanted to. He slid to the floor, crying. 

It was too bad that Harry would never get to tell his lover that he was two months pregnant with Remus' child.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**: _Boarding the Hogwarts Express_

"Hurry up Dad or I'll leave without you!"

Harry Potter groaned and rolled over so he lay flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. It was hard to believe that his whole life changed nearly eleven years ago, starting with his ex-fiancé, Remus Lupin, leaving him in favor of his godfather, and the beginning of a new life. Harry now lived under a fake name, Evan Jameson, with his only daughter Lilyan, or Lily. He was a single father and was not interested in taking on a relationship as he raised his daughter. Lily wanted her father to find someone to date, even if her father would only date men. She wanted him to be happy, but it wasn't meant to be for Harry.

"Dad! Up now!"

"I'm coming, Lily," Harry called as he sat up in bed. He began to stretch out his muscles and also made sure that his weak legs worked. Ever since he had given birth to Lilyan his body began to gradually weaken. The healer explained that male pregnancies are very rare and when they happen, it tends to weaken the male bodies. Also, his immune system was shot and so he continued to get sick. Harry knew that at some point he would catch something nasty and it would end up killing him. He didn't want that to happen, though, as he wanted to continue to raise his daughter.

Lily popped her head into the room, smiling. She had managed to inherit the Potter genes and got the messy jet-black hair that came from her father and her eyes were a soft amber, a constant reminder to Harry of the man he still loved to this day.

"Daddy, you are so slow," she giggled.

"Because I am old, Lily flower," he replied back, smiling. "Could you grab the wheelchair, sweetheart? My legs are especially weak today."

"Sure dad."

As Lily left, she adopted a worried look on her face. She knew how sick her father was and she wondered if there was anything to help him. At first she thought if she were to convince her other father to go back to her dad that it might help, but she thought against it when she had heard that her father married Sirius Black and they had twins. The two would be about her age and both were boys.

She managed to locate the wheelchair and brought to her dad's room. Since Harry needed a wheelchair from time to time, his house remained as a one-floor building so they didn't have to worry about stairs. Lily watched as her father slipped off the bed and into the wheelchair.

"Ready daddy?" she asked, smiling.

"Got your stuff?" Harry asked.

She patted her pockets. "You shrunk my stuff yesterday, dad. Don't you remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Harry frowned. Lily sighed and pushed his wheelchair.

------

Lily and Harry arrived at Kings Cross station using a Portkey that had been prearranged for them to use. Harry no longer Apparated and he didn't trust the Floo network anymore, so they used a Portkey instead. Harry's daughter pushed him through the portal separating the Muggle platforms from the platform Hogwarts students used to board the train heading to Hogwarts.

Since Harry was under the disguise of Evan Jameson, there were no whispers of seeing the Boy-Who-Lived crippled. All they saw was a crippled old-looking man dropping his daughter off.

"I promise to write, daddy," Lily began, walking around to face her dad. She could feel her eyes tear up. "I will also study as hard as I can."

Harry smiled and put a hand to her cheek. "That's my girl." He pulled her into a hug. "I love you Lily flower."

"I love you daddy," she whispered. "I feel bad about leaving you home alone."

"Don't worry. Hr. Benson will be around every two days to make sure I am doing well." Harry kissed her forehead and pushed her away. "Now get on that train and make me proud."

Lily wiped her eyes and boarded the train after making sure her stuff got into the luggage compartment. She waved to her father, who waved back and turned the chair around so he could leave. Sighing, Lily turned away from the window and pulled out a book she had kept with her. It was a photo album her father had given her for her birthday earlier in the year. Her most favorite picture of all was the picture of both her parents. Her fathers looked happy and in love with each other, arms wrapped around the other. They waved to her and she smiled. _I hope I get to meet my other father, even if he is a jerk for leaving dad behind_.

She wasn't blind to the fact that being pregnant wasn't the only thing that was killing her father. Lily knew that when her father left her dad that it hurt her dad very deeply. Hell, she even heard her Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron talking about how her dad had found out that her father was his soul-mate. Eventually, the separation would take its toll on her dad and soon, he might die. Shuddering, Lily resolved to find a way to get her fathers back together before her dad did die.  
------


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**: _Meeting New People_

Lily was still flipping through the photo album when the door to her compartment slid open. She glanced up from the album and spotted two twin boys. Even if she didn't know their names, she knew very well who these boys were. They would be her step-brothers since one of their fathers was her father, after all.

"Do you mind if we sit here?" one of them asked. He had longish brown hair and dazzling gray eyes.

"Go ahead," Lily said, smiling. Her dad had told her to not hate the twins nor their fathers for what had happened in the past. It wasn't right to hate anyone (except Voldemort, her dad had jokingly said).

The boys sat across from her and they stared at her as she went back to viewing her photos. She smiled when she got to a picture of her dad and his two friends, her aunt and uncle, in their graduation robes.

"What's your name?" the other boy asked curiously. He had short dark black hair and golden brown eyes. Just like a wolf or an owl, she remarked silently.

"Lily Jameson," Lily replied smoothly. "What about you?"

The second boy grinned. "I'm James and my twit of a twin here is Jamie."

"Nice to meet you," Jamie said quietly.

"Nice to meet you too," Lily said, smiling.

"Are you a first year?" James asked, smiling at her.

"Uh-huh. Are you as well?"

James nodded. "Yup. Actually, our fathers, Remus and Sirius Lupin-Black, will be here in a sec. I can't wait to introduce you to them. They are the best teachers at Hogwarts!"

"I bet."

Lily went back to her album and smiled at the next picture. It was taken a few years ago, back when her father was much better than he is now. He had his disguise on so no one would recognize him. A younger version of herself was perched on his back and her arms were around his neck.

"Who's that?" Jamie asked, pointing at the picture.

Lily smiled sadly. "My father. That was a picture of him before he got really sick."

"Is he alright?" James asked.

She shook her head. "No. See, my dad, my father's fiancé at the time, left him for another man. Dad never got to tell him that he was pregnant and he was devastated. Ever since having me and losing his soul mate, he's been getting sicker and sicker. I am hoping to find my dad someday and make him come back."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lily," James said, putting a hand on her arm. "I hope all goes well."

The compartment door slid open and revealed two men that Lily recognized from pictures her father would collect from the Daily Prophet. She was angry that the two men looked to be so in love and happy together.

"Dad! Papa!" Jamie exclaimed. "This is Lily Jameson, our new friend. Lily, these are our parents."

Lily put on a smile. "Pleasure to meet you. Your sons were telling me that you are the best teachers ever."

The dark-haired man, Sirius, grinned. "Have they?" He closed the door behind him and took a seat next to his sons. The Defense professor frowned when his eyes caught the sight of the picture Lily was looking at. "Who is that?"

"That's Lily's dad. He's sick because his soul mate left him and also because he gave birth to her." James replied. Lily made a face at him.

"You shouldn't have said that, James," Remus admonished. He then turned to Lily. "I'm sorry to hear about your father, Lily. How old is he?"

She looked back down at the picture. "Right now he's 30 years old. Because he gets so sick it's been graying his hair." She flipped to the next page. The Lupin-Blacks leaned in and gasped. The good-looking man had been replaced with a man who had silver streaks in his hair and looked very thin. He was smiling tiredly at the camera from the hospital bed. "I have tried to get Dad to date again but he's just not into it. I need to convince my other dad to come back or I will lose him for good." Tears filled her eyes. "I love my father so much. He taught me to not be mad at my other dad, even if he was a jerk for leaving him for another man."

Remus pulled her into a hug. He didn't know why he did but he felt his odd urge to pull her into a hug and comfort her. Lily buried her face into his robes, breathing in the scent of her dad. She wanted to tell him the truth and beg him to come back, but she knew that wouldn't happen. She had seen the look her dad was giving his husband. Besides, only couples that were in love could produce children.

Sirius met his lover's eyes over the girl's head. The girl's tale was very sad and they didn't want her to lose her father. They could clearly see the love in the girl's eyes and voice as she spoke of her father.

"Dad, if Lily's father passes away, can we keep her?" Jamie asked quietly.

"Jaime Harrison!" Sirius exclaimed. "You should know better than to say something like that!"

"Sorry Lily," he mumbled, blushing fiercely.

Lily only smiled at him. As much as she would like that, she knew that it wouldn't happen. She knew that once a single parent died that the child would be tested to see if she had any living relatives left. If they took her blood and found out that Remus was her other father, there would be hell to pay. And she didn't want her other father to be angry at her.

Remus released the girl and she went back to her seat. She continued to flip through pictures, careful to not show the others the ones that didn't show her father in his disguise. When she showed a picture of the day when she was born, the older males smiled and told her that she was a beautiful baby while James and Jamie cooed. It made her blush.

------------------

When the train stopped at Hogsmeade station, Remus and Sirius bid the kids good night before they left. Jamie explained that their parents made sure all students got into Hogwarts safely. Since Harry Potter supposedly disappeared several years ago, Voldemort has been growing stronger and bolder. He had sent death threats to Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Harry Potter is Dad's godson," James proclaimed proudly. "No one knows what happened to Harry, though. People think he is dead."

"Dad and Papa won't give up on finding him, though," Jamie added.

Lily felt her heart pound. If her father only knew that the two men, despite hurting him all those years ago, were still looking for him. Sighing, she followed the twins to the lake. She had heard from her father that first years always crossed the Black lake while the other students took the carriages.

"Firs' years! Firs' years, over here!" boomed a large voice. Lily jumped.

James and Jamie, however, grinned. "That's Hagrid, the gamekeeper," James said. "He's very friendly. C'mon!"

Lily followed the boys toward a large man that was standing at the end of the station. He had scraggly black hair and beard and also had small black eyes. The large man smiled when he saw James and Jamie.

"James 'n' Jamie! How're ye?" he boomed.

"Good!" James called. "This is Lily Jameson, our new friend."

Hagrid smiled down at her. "'ello, Lily."

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Blimey! I swear ye look jus' like 'Arry Potter."

Everyone around her turned to look at her. She flushed. "Sorry, Hagrid. My father's name is Evan Jameson, not Harry Potter."

"Ye sure?" the large man asked. When she nodded, her heart going a mile a minute, he sighed. "Jus' checkin'. Alright!" he yelled, scaring everyone. "Let's head fer the boats!"

---------------------

(Sorry that I am skipping around but I have so many ideas for this update that I want them done before they go away.)

Professor McGonagall left the first years in the hall across from the Great Hall. Lily took her time to look around the room as James talked to anybody he could. It was filled with moving portraits, just as her father had told her.

"I heard from my dad that we have to fight trolls," exclaimed a red-haired boy. He had lots of freckles on his face and dazzling brown eyes.

James snorted. "Now there's an idea. We'd all go to Hufflepuff if that happened."

As Lily continued to look around, something caught her eye. She smiled sadly when she recognized a portrait of her father when he was known as Harry Potter. He was dressed in graduation robes, standing alongside Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. They were smiling and waving excitedly. She swore that the three of them saw her and winked.

The doors opened again and Professor McGonagall ushered them out and into the Great Hall. Candles floated in mid air toward the ceiling where it portrayed the cloudless sky. Four long tables were situated in the hall with a fifth dedicated to the professors. However, Lily's eyes widened when she recognized her father in his wheelchair, sitting at the end of the table.

"Dad!" she cried out, breaking from the group and hurrying up to him.

Harry smiled tiredly at her. "Hey Lily flower."

She jumped into his lap, hugging him. Lily didn't care if everyone saw. "What are you doing here? Are you sick again?"

Harry shared a glance with Madam Pomfrey. She was the only person in the wizarding world who knew who he was and all about Lily. Sighing, he put his daughter down. "Yes, Lily. I'm afraid I'm not getting better. Your godmother ordered me to come over for a check up. She has already owled Hr. Benson to tell him that I am in her care now." He plastered a fake smile on his face. "Now go and get sorted."

Lily went back to her year mates, feeling sad. Professor McGonagall, after giving Lily a sympathetic glance, cleared her throat and began listing off names.

"Jameson, Lilyan."

Lily walked up, feeling nervous. She had seen the other first years get sorted under the hat and she was scared all of a sudden. What if the hat blurted out her secrets? The hat fell upon her head and all she could see was darkness.

"What's this?" the hat whispered in her ear. "Harry Potter's child? Goodness. I certainly wasn't expecting this. And what a story you have, little girl. I am sorry to hear that it won't be the happy ending you want. Now, let's see where to put you." The voice had gone silent and Lily wondered what he was thinking. "You have lots of courage and a thirst for knowledge. Much like your father, eh? Hufflepuff and Slytherin won't take you, that's for sure. Though you are very smart, I believe you will fit better in… GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily blew out a breath when the hat was taken off her head. She smiled to her father and went down to the clapping table. She nodded to a couple of the first years and she turned back to the sorting, wondering where the twins would go into.

"Lupin-Black, Jamie."

"RAVENCLAW!"

Both Sirius and Remus stood up, clapping happily. Lily clapped too, smiling. She somehow knew sweet, quiet Jamie would end up there.

"Lupin-Black, James."

There was no surprise where he went. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily waved to James and he joined her, grinning. He waved to his parents and then he sighed.

"I was afraid I was going to Slytherin there for a second," he replied.

Lily looked curious. "Why's that?"

"My dad has a family history of being in Slytherin, except for him. Didn't you know about the Black family?"

"Not really. Even though Dad is a wizard, we've mostly lived in a Muggle town. He never really told me much of his past life."

-------------------

As the students filtered out, Dumbledore looked at Evan. "You truly have a beautiful daughter, Evan," he said.

Evan blushed. "Thanks. I did my best to raise her even when I was ill."

"I am sorry to hear about your predicament. I hope you will someday find your soul mate."

The professors look startled when he shook his head. "I won't, Professor. I'm sorry to say this, but he won't be coming back. Hell, he never knew about Lily. He left the day I was going to tell him the news. I thought he would be so happy." Evan looked sad. "I always imagined what his reaction would be and I dreamed of what life would be if he had truly loved me."

"Are you sure he won't go back to you?" Remus asked. "What if he later on found out what he had missed?"

Evan smiled. It was ironic that Remus would be saying that when he was the man in question. "Trust me, Professor Lupin, he won't come back. I heard that he is now happily married and together they have children. He'll never know."

Madam Pomfrey wiped her face with her napkin and stood up. "Alright, Evan, let's go. I'll take you to your rooms."

The staff watched them go.

"I feel sorry for Evan," Sirius said. "He's giving up, you can tell. He really believes that he will die and that his soul mate will never return to him."

"It is," Dumbledore replied.

End of chapter


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**: _Visits_

Madam Pomfrey shut the infirmary doors behind Harry's wheelchair and ordered him to one of the back rooms that was reserved for very sick patients. While she got the room ready, she began to fire questions at him, enough to make Harry's spin.

"Honestly, Poppy, I am fine at the moment. I woke up this morning feeling like shit and my legs wouldn't work." He paused. "Actually, it seems that my legs never work anymore."

Poppy exited the room and stared at Harry with a sympathetic look. "I really wish there was another way to help you, Harry dear." She pushed his wheelchair into the room and helped him into the bed. She sat down next to him. "I think our little Lily might try to get Remus to see reason, without telling him who you really are."

Harry chuckled. "She has his stubbornness, doesn't she?"

The medi-witch looked amused. "Actually, I think her stubbornness comes from both of you. And don't argue with me. When you were well, you used to tax your body and magic just so you would be strong enough to destroy Voldemort and Remus would never give up on a research." She let out a sigh. "I just hope that Remus will see the error he made before you pass away, dear. I do know for a fact that he loved you very much."

"Poppy…"

Poppy glared at him. "Listen, Harry. Yes, Remus did love Sirius a long time ago, but it didn't work out. Once Remus heard what Sirius had done to Severus, he broke the relationship. He never dated after that, until you came." She smiled. "He really loved you, which is why Lily came to be. He is just being a fool, going back to Sirius. I don't know why he gave you up, but he made a grave mistake and he will pay for it in the end. Even though Remus won't be getting sick because of your absence, he will feel something when you die. By the time he learns of what happened, I doubt Lily would forgive him. You may have taught her not to hate Remus but she is angry at him. Lily loves you so much, Harry, that she doesn't like seeing you get sick." She ran a hand through his silver streaked hair. "Now get some rest, dear. You are in capable hands."

-----------------------

Lily walked down to the Great Hall with a few of her roommates. Most of them were a bunch of giggling girls, something that Lily detested. It hurt her ears to hear them giggle in every sentence they speak. But she smiled when she saw James sitting at the Gryffindor table. With a wave over to Jamie at the Ravenclaw table, the eleven-year-old girl went over to James.

"Morning James," she greeted her half-brother happily.

James grinned at her. "Morning, Lily. Sleep well?"

"At first I didn't. I was worried about Dad until my eyes got tired and I fell asleep." But she smiled. "I am glad that my godmother, Poppy Pomfrey, ordered him here, though. This way I can see how he is without sending the family owl out."

James' eyes widened. "Madam Pomfrey is your godmother?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah. She delivered me and was one of Dad's friends. She helped Dad out whenever he got really ill. Poppy will never admit it but she really hates my other father for leaving him to take care of me alone."

He chewed his food and swallowed before asking, "Do you know what your father looks like and where he is?"

"I do. I plan on sending him letters and begging him to come back," Lily lied. Sure, she knew where her father was but she wasn't thinking on sending him letters unless her original plan didn't work. Her last resort was to tell him everything, to yell and scream it in his face.

"Good plan. I hope it works out." James looked up to his parents and smiled. "That way, my parents can meet yours and we can hang out together."

"Yeah."

---------------------

Jamie looked over at his brother and their new friend. He smiled when he saw them talking but then he frowned. If he didn't know better, he would have thought Lily and James were twins. They both had the same black hair and amber eyes. Their noses even were identical and Jamie knew that James got his nose from their Papa. He would have to ask his Papa if he had been with anyone else before he found Dad. For now, the Ravenclaw first year concentrated on eating so he could catch up to his brother. Classes wouldn't start until tomorrow, giving the first years the time to learn the layout before going to classes.

--------------------

Hermione Weasley was reading a story to her oldest son, Michael, who was 10, when she noticed Poppy Pomfrey's face in the fireplace. She put Michael down and went to the fireplace.

"Hey Poppy. What's up?" she asked.

Poppy sighed. "Not good, Hermione. I'm afraid that you'll have to stay at Hogwarts to help me with Harry. I need another medi-witch to help me out and you are the only one I trust that has their own practice. I already asked Dumbledore about having quarters set up for you and he said that he would have some set up once you agree to come. Your kids can come too. I know they would like to see their godfather."

Hermione smiled. Yes, her children have been asking her if they could see Uncle Harry. "I can come, Poppy. Let me leave a note for my husband and pack a few things and I'll be over."

"See you soon, Hermione." Poppy's head disappeared with a pop.

"Mum, who was that?" Michael asked.

She let out a sigh and pulled some of her curly hair away from her face. "That was Poppy, love. Uncle Harry is not well and he is with her. I am gonna go help make Uncle Harry better and you'll come with me."

She smiled when her son's face lit up. "Really? We can go see Uncle Harry?"

"Yes, Mike. Now go and get packed. I will tell your siblings to pack as well."

-------------------------

Lily managed to ditch James and Jamie and headed toward the hospital wing. Since there were times she had visited her godmother, she knew the entire Hogwarts layout by heart. Besides, she was the daughter of two Marauders. It wasn't like her father had forgotten to give her the Marauder's map.

She opened the door and smiled at her godmother, who smiled back.

"Hey Lily," Poppy said, hugging the girl tightly. "Here to see your father?"

"Yes, Aunt Poppy," she replied. She followed Poppy into one of the back rooms and entered through the door Poppy had opened for her.

Her father looked even worse than he did last night. His face was covered in sweat and he looked kind of shaky. When Lily placed a hand on her father's hand, he looked over to her and smiled.

"Lily flower," he croaked.

"Dad, you don't look good," she said sadly.

Her father sighed. "Yes, I'm not doing too good, Lily. I wish I was."

"I just need to get Professor Lupin to admit that he truly loves you and you'll be fine." Lily could feel tears in her eyes. "Remember that you told me that only homosexual couples that were in love could produce a child?"

"That I did, Lily flower," her father said, taking a hold of her hand. "But he doesn't love me anymore."

"They do, Dad. Both of them. James and Jamie, my new friends, told me that they are still searching for you."

He let out a laugh that turned into a cough. Poppy was at the other side of the room, measuring out several potions. "Honey, they are only looking for me because I am the last link they have to their late best friend, your grandfather. I seriously doubt that Remus is looking for me because he wants to tell me that he made the gravest mistake of his life. Besides, Sirius wouldn't let him."

"You never know, Dad, until you ask them."

"Lily is right, Harry," Poppy replied. "And so are James and Jamie. Remus and Sirius have been looking for you. They keep badgering Dumbledore to see if he knew where you were. I don't know their intentions are but I do know that they care for you."

Harry turned away, not looking at Lily or Poppy. "But Remus doesn't love me anymore, Poppy. He never did."

Poppy scoffed and she brought over a few syringes that were filled with different potions. "I stand by what I said earlier, Harry." She grabbed a cotton ball that already had the rubbing alcohol on it and swabbed his upper arms. "Lily, could you inject these into his other arm for me, love? Remember what I showed you."

Lily took some of the syringes. She was taught when she was younger to help make sure her father got his potions. Soon it got to the point where he could no longer swallow them, as his stomach couldn't take it, and Poppy started using syringes.

Harry closed his eyes as Lily and Poppy injected the potions into his body. He hated needles and hated watching them stick the syringes in him.

"I asked Hermione to come here and help," Poppy said, trying to distract Harry while she kept going. "She agreed and is bringing her children with. It seems that they miss their godfather."

He chuckled. "I miss them too. I miss all of my godchildren, really."

Most of his godchildren, funnily enough, are Weasley children. Ron and Hermione's five children were his godchildren, along with all of Fred and George's, and one each from Bill and Charlie. Ginny didn't get to live to have any children, as she was killed when she saved a little boy's life. Percy still didn't like Harry and never asked him to be godfather to any children he fathered, though his wife would always welcome Harry into their home. Penelope Weasley had tried to get her husband to not avoid Harry or his family to no avail. Otherwise, Neville's two children were Harry's godchildren also, along with a few other people. Amongst the group, shockingly, were Lucius and Severus' three children. Severus Snape had gotten married to Lucius Malfoy some years back, a few years before Remus and Sirius did. Both men had begun to befriend Harry and help spy on Voldemort for Dumbledore. Draco Malfoy accepted that Harry wasn't as bad as he thought he was and he too helped the Order. He got married to Pansy Parkinson and they had two children.

"I'm sure they miss you too, dear." Poppy finished the last syringe and gathered the emptied ones from her goddaughter. "All done. I will be out in the wing so I can greet Hermione and get her settled down." She turned to Lily. "You can stay as long as you want, love, for today." The medi-witch smiled at both father and daughter and she left the room, closing the door.

---------------------------

Dumbledore was leafing through some papers when his door opened. He looked up and smiled at Remus, who entered and took a seat. The older wizard put the papers down and folded his hands together.

"What can I do for you, Remus?"

The werewolf sighed. "I'm beginning to think of giving up on finding Harry, Albus."

"Whatever for, my dear boy?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? Harry's hiding from me. It's only because I hurt him." Remus choked out a sorrowful laugh. "I hurt him that night. The first place I looked was the house I left for him. It was empty and for sale."

"Did you honestly think he would stay here?" Dumbledore asked. "It would only serve as a painful memory for him. It would remind him of the night you left him." He looked over at his former student from the top of his half-moon glasses.

"I know I made a mistake in leaving him but I thought I had fallen in love with Sirius again. My wolf kept punishing me for leaving Harry like that. Not even the Wolfsbane can calm it down, Albus."

"No," the older wizard agreed. "Your wolf wants you to go back to Harry, its mate."

"I don't know if I can. I haven't found a single trace of him." Remus hung his head. "I shouldn't've left him." He chuckled bitterly. "Did you know, Albus, that he was going to tell me something that night? I wonder what it was."

Dumbledore stared at the man sadly. He knew exactly what Harry was going to say to Remus but he wanted Harry to tell the man.

"Use your wolf, my boy. Maybe he can help you."

End of chapter


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**: _Finding Him_

Remus pulled Sirius aside later on that evening, saying he wanted to tell him something important. The werewolf knew it would kill the older man but he hoped that Sirius would be fine and would understand.

"Sirius… there's something I need to tell you…" he began nervously.

"Me too, love." Sirius twisted the wedding band on his left ring finger before blurting out, "I'm in love with someone else."

Remus wasn't expecting that kind of answer from the man he had married instead of his mate. He stared wide-eyed at his friend. "What? With who?"

The canine Animagus ducked his head, his cheeks turning red. "Bill Weasley." He blew out a breath. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Remy, I just…"

"It's alright, Padfoot. I, um, was going to say that I am in love with someone else too, the same person I was always attracted to for years. It took me this long to realize that I was wrong in dumping Harry, my mate, like that. It's just… when you came to me, reigniting the old flame, I thought it was love." Remus wiped his eyes, beginning to feel the tears building up. "But now… now Moony wants him back and he's gone and he's probably married some other bloke and…"

"Whoa, Moony, slow down," Sirius said, placing a hand on his friend's arm. "First off, I don't think my godson would marry someone else even after you hurt him. He loves you too much to do that. Though I do doubt that he will instantly take you back when he sees you groveling on his doorstep."

"I know." He let out a sigh and wiped his eyes again. "I can't believe I hurt him like that. I promised him… Merlin, Padfoot, I _promised him_…"

Sirius wrapped the werewolf into his arms, letting the younger man sob into his chest. Remus would definitely have a hard time getting through to Harry that he still loved him, but if Sirius knew Remus as well as he does, he knew that he wouldn't give up.

-------------

"Uncle Harry!"

Harry glanced up from reading his book and smiled at his godchildren, who all rushed toward his bed. The youngest of the five children, twin girls named Beth and Harmony Weasley, crawled up onto his bed and sat on his chest.

"Hey, Harry," said Hermione from the doorway, smiling at the scene.

"Hey Hermione," he said. Harry coughed, his chest heaving as he did so.

Hermione frowned at the sound of his coughs. They didn't sound healthy at all. "You don't sound, or look, well at all, my friend. You've been getting worse, I hear?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah and I don't know why."

"Poppy thinks that this isn't a normal sickness that it stems from being away from your soul mate. And watching you, I'm beginning to think she's right."

"Hermione…"

"No, you listen to me, Harry James Potter. I've been in contact with Remus lately and he really wants to see you again. He's becoming desperate and his last letter was the most upsetting." She reached into her healer bag and pulled out a neatly folded piece of parchment and set it on his bedside. "Poppy has told me that you believe he doesn't love you, that he never did. Remus had to have loved you to be able to help you create Lily, and don't you think about saying anything about what he did with Sirius," she added when she saw her friend begin to protest. "He thought he was in love with Sirius and that's how they have James and Jamie, but he realized his mistake. Read that letter and you'll understand. But for now, I have to examine you and see what can be done."

--------------

Remus was surprised when he saw Lily Jameson approach him just after dinner had finished for the evening, with his sons in tow.

"Professor Lupin, could I talk to you and Professor Black? There's something I need to tell you both and your sons as well."

"Of course, Miss Jameson," Remus said and beckoned the three first years into his quarters where Sirius eventually joined them.

The four Lupin-Blacks stared at Lily, wondering what she was going to tell them. Lily blushed under the attention she was getting and cleared her throat.

"I understand that you are still searching for Harry Potter?"

"We are," Sirius responded slowly, not sure what she was getting at.

Lily took in a deep breath. "What if I told you that I knew where he was residing and what he has gone through the past eleven years?"

-----------------

Poppy looked up as Hermione exited the room, looking ready to collapse from exhaustion. "Well?" she asked.

The younger mediwitch sat down on one of the vacant chairs and rubbed a hand over her face. "I gave him the letter and I know he will read it, but where his health is concerned, I don't think he'll last much longer. If Remus and Harry don't get back together, Poppy, he won't last for another month."

"And poor Remus will follow him," Poppy added. "He'll know if his mate died and you know how werewolves are after they find out their mate has died."

The two women fell into an uncomfortable silence, both of them thinking of the man wasting away in front of their eyes.

----------------

Harry was glad when his godchildren left with their mother and he found himself staring at the parchment on his bedside table. On one hand, he was extremely curious to see what his mate had written and to see if Hermione and Poppy were right, that he was searching desperately for him. On the other hand, he didn't want to read it in case he mentioned how happy he was with Harry's godfather. With a sigh, he gave in to his curiosity and unfolded the parchment.

_Hermione,_

_Please tell me you have a lead on finding Harry. Siri and I haven't been successful and we think it's because of our relationship. I think he would prefer to be found by a trusted friend instead of the man who crushed his life in a few words._

_As I lay in bed with Sirius, I often find myself thinking of him, of how much I hurt him that night when I told him that I was in love with Sirius, not him. Merlin, you have no idea how much I have been kicking myself or how my wolf is torturing me. It took me this long, eleven years, to realize that I was always in love with Harry, but my mind didn't want to accept that because of the age difference between us and the fact that I had changed his diapers when I was younger. My mind preferred me to be with Sirius and so I went along with it, instead of my heart. I am shocked, though, that Siri and I have James and Jamie, because by all rights we shouldn't have. I should be having children with Harry instead of with Sirius, my best friend._

_I also think of what I will say to him when I finally see him again and I find that each time I write one down, it sounds pathetic. I want him so much, Hermione, and I miss him even more so. I just want to find him, take him into my arms, kiss him, make love to him, and show him just how much I love him. I can't put down into words how much I love him, for they wouldn't be enough._

As Harry continued to read the long letter, he found the tears in his eyes beginning to build up. His heart felt like several tons of bricks had been lifted. Remus loved him? He hadn't meant to break up with him eleven years ago? Harry hungrily read the rest of the letter, wanting to burst out of the hospital wing, find Remus, and kiss him, say that he loved him too.

-----------------

Sirius and Remus stared at Lily with disbelieving looks as James and Jamie's jaws dropped.

"And how would you know where Harry is?" Sirius asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

Lily smirked at the men. "Haven't you wondered why I look so familiar to you?" She suddenly giggled and glanced at her half-brothers. "Remember what Hagrid said when he first saw me?"

Jamie nodded. "How could we forget it? He said that you looked like…" He stopped and his eyes widened. The Ravenclaw stared at the girl.

"Like what?" Remus demanded, feeling a little annoyed.

"He said she looked like Harry Potter," James finished, his eyes also locked onto the girl in front of him. "But Harry Potter doesn't have gold eyes."

"He never did," Lily said. She turned her eyes to her father and waited for him to put the pieces together.

Jamie finally managed to snap out of his trance and he was now glancing between Lily and James. "Dad? Were you ever involved with Harry Potter at some point in time?"

Remus tore his gaze from the younger girl and looked at his son. "I was, for a few years before I got back with your father. Where are you going with this, Jamie?"

Surprisingly, it was James who spoke up next. He was pale and his gold eyes were staring at Lily with wonder. "Dad, I think you are looking at your daughter, the daughter you had with Harry Potter."

---------------

End of chapter


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**: _Truth Revealed_

To say that Sirius and Remus were shocked would be a severe understatement. Both men looked ready to collapse even though they were already seated. Moony the wolf, however, was howling in delight inside Remus. He finally had a child with his mate. When the shock wore off, Remus found himself kneeling down next to Lily, his eyes looking her over.

"Then Evan James is Harry Potter," James blurted out. "Harry Potter has been here for a few days."

Remus' eyes connected with his daughter's and saw that she was nodding her head in agreement. "Yes. He would kill me if he found out what I told you, but I've had enough. I am tired of seeing my father fall apart just because he is apart from his soul mate."

"Harry's sick because of me?" he asked, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat.

"Partly, yes. Half of it was from the pregnancy, as male bodies aren't made for that particular function." Her face was red and found she couldn't look at any of them. "Aunt Hermione and my godmother have been taking care of him along with Healer Benson, giving him potion after potion to help him, but he's been falling apart. Dad keeps getting sick every year and I help out, making sure he gets his potions."

"But Harry's here," Sirius said, finding his voice once again.

"He's dying, isn't he?" Jamie replied. His gray eyes seemed darker, resembling storm clouds. "That's why he's here."

Lily nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "There's nothing anyone can do. They haven't told me anything yet, but I know he won't last this time. His body is so weak and his soul is torn, destroyed without its other half."

"I could heal him, couldn't I?" Remus said softly. "I made him sick and therefore I could heal him."

------------------

Remus found himself running toward the direction of the hospital wing, his heart in his throat as he thought of his mate. Merlin, he remembered seeing him that night of the Sorting. He looked horrible and so lost, thinking his soul mate wouldn't come back to him. _Hang on, Harry,_ he thought as he burst into the hospital wing.

Poppy Pomfrey stood up, her wand out. She sighed when she saw him and pocketed it. "Goodness, Remus, don't you know…?"

"Let me see him," Remus said, his wild golden eyes scanning around.

"Remus…"

"Let me see Harry!" he screamed, his patience wearing thin. "I need to see him…"

Poppy eyed him before letting out a sigh. She knew that if she didn't let the man see his mate that there would be trouble. She didn't even notice that the doors opened again to reveal Sirius, James, Jamie, and Lily as she led the werewolf to the door of a private room.

"Don't get him upset or anything, Remus John Lupin-Black," she scolded. "He's been hurt enough."

Remus swallowed and nodded, glancing at the door and feeling his heart race faster than before. His mate was behind this door, broken and dying. He felt his hand reach out and turn the knob of the door. The door opened and he pushed it, his breath hitching when he saw what lay behind it.

The glamour had gone and he could clearly see his mate lying on the bed, pale and thinner than he last remembered. It looked like he was sleeping peacefully, tucked under the white hospital sheets, which only served to make his pale skin stand out.

Remus let out a choked breath and moved so he was standing by his bedside, not aware that his family had followed him. "Harry," he breathed and reached out to touch the man's hair. It was still soft but was slightly damp. He must've had it washed recently, he thought. "Merlin, what have I done?" he whispered, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He sank into the chair by the bed, his hand now entwining itself with Harry's.

-------------------

Sirius felt his heart go out to his friend as he sat by Harry's bed. He must be blaming himself for this, he thought as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. His gray eyes scanned over Harry's form and could feel the tears in his eyes. It looked like life had beaten the kid up more than Voldemort did.

"He doesn't have but a month to live," he heard Poppy remark from the door. Lily had gone to the other side of her father's bed and was grasping his other hand. Jamie and James stood with Sirius, both not speaking. "Hermione and I are trying to make him as comfortable as possible."

"Can I really heal him, Poppy?" Remus spoke, his voice filled with pain. Sirius felt his heartstrings tug painfully and he turned away, wiping his eyes.

"Yes, Remus. You are the only one who can heal him, make him better. But the only way you can do that is to bond with him, to accept the bond between you two. You would have to promise that you would never cheat on him again, break his heart the way you did when you left him for Sirius."

"Of course," Remus said softly. "I don't think I would do it again, even if I wanted." He looked down at Harry's sleeping form and everyone could clearly see the love shining in his eyes. The werewolf picked up his mate's hand and kissed it tenderly. "I just hope he can forgive me."

"He might," Hermione said with a smile. "I left him the last letter you wrote me to read, because that letter in itself spoke volumes about how much you love him, how you regretted leaving him the way you did. When I came back, before he fell asleep, he asked me if you really did miss him, if you loved him like you told me you did."

The room became silent as they all watched his chest rise and fall, though it was shaky and uneven.

"When he wakes, I want you to tell him everything," Poppy said to Remus. "Tell him the truth. Hopefully he will take you back and you might have to give him time to think about, though we don't have a lot of that. If he consents to be with you, I'll have Albus come down and perform the spell that will bind you two together as soul mates. If he doesn't consent…" She left it hanging open, as everyone knew what would happen if he didn't.

Remus found his head nodding as he continued to stare at the man he loved more than life itself. He could feel Sirius' hand on his shoulder as the man came closer. Remus could only hope Harry would hear him out and become his bonded mate, or both of them wouldn't last. The werewolf knew that if Harry did die that he would follow, dying of a broken heart and shattered soul. He choked as he even let that thought float around his mind and he lifted Harry's cold hand to his cheek, inhaling the intoxicating scent to calm himself down.

---------------

Harry knew someone was sitting by his bed, as he could feel someone holding his hand. Thinking it was either Lily or the mediwitches, he opened his eyes and stared into amber eyes that looked bloodshot. He knew who was standing by his bedside and he stared into those eyes he saw every time he looked upon his daughter. Had he figured it out? Was he here to tell him off?

"Harry," Remus rasped, his voice tinged with pain and regret.

"Remus," Harry said, but he had to turn his head away so he could cough. He felt comforted when he felt a hand rub his back and he swore he heard the man take in a shaky breath.

"Don't talk, Harry. Poppy and Hermione said that your throat would be dry and raw for awhile." He held out a glass of water to the younger man and made sure he had enough before putting it back on the table.

"How did you find out about me?" the former Gryffindor asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Funnily enough, our daughter thought it fitting that I was told." Remus brought his eyes to Harry's and continued to stare into them, losing himself in the dull emerald green orbs. He took in another shaky breath before opening his mouth. "Harry, there is so much I need to tell you and all I want you to do is listen." He waited until Harry nodded before continuing. "I feel like the worst person on Earth for leaving you like I did. I really wanted to commit myself to you, but my mind wouldn't have it. I still saw you as James' child, the child I used to change diapers, and I listened. My heart and wolf were berating me the entire time I was with Sirius, wanting me to go back to you." Remus squeezed the hand in his own and he forced a smile on his face. "After I had convinced myself that I could still see you, I tried to find you, along with Sirius. We searched for months, years, and felt ready to give up. We met Lily on the train and fell in love with her. It was then that I felt an odd protectiveness toward her, just as much as I do for Jamie and James." He finally produced a true smile. "You did an excellent job raising her, Harry. It's unbelievable that I couldn't see the resemblance of the both of us in her. She pulled all four of us into our quarters and finally told us that you were here and that she was as much my daughter as she was yours." He sucked in a breath and tried to push away the tears threatening to spill. "And hours before she came, I told Sirius that I no longer loved him and he told me that he was eyeing someone else."

Harry smiled weakly. "Who?"

"Bill Weasley."

The younger man laughed, which was interrupted by his coughing, but Remus heard it regardless. It made him smile to know that Harry had laughed. "I was quite surprised but happy. I didn't want to break his heart by leaving him for you, the only person I ever truly loved, the man who I wanted to give my heart, body, and soul to." He could feel the tears welling up and he let them fall as he grasped the hands in his tighter. "I can understand if you don't want to be with me, but I will at least have my say and you will know the truth, the truth I was trying to deny before." Remus leaned forward, his eyes still on Harry's, and pressed their lips together. He instinctively closed his eyes and moved his lips slightly and was shocked to feel Harry respond.

As the kiss progressively heated and grew more passionate, Remus felt his heart soar and his wolf howl in victory. He slid his tongue out and traced the young man's lips, a hand slipping back to touch the soft hair near the nape of his mate's neck. He heard a moan and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue in, tasting and exploring the once familiar mouth.

They continued to kiss for a few more seconds before pulling away, panting and staring at each other.

"I have been and always will be in love with you, Harry James Potter," Remus said once he got his breath back. "I don't deserve to have a second chance with you but I would like to start over again. I will take the time to get to know you once again, to one day ask for your hand in marriage and to be there when we have more children."

Harry raised one black eyebrow. "Who says we would have more children?"

Remus found himself smirking as his heart beat faster at the thought. "I think I did. Besides, I bet Lily would like to have more siblings of her own, barring Jamie and James anyway." He squeezed one hand. "I'll give you some time to think it over, a few days at the most, and I will come back for an answer. If you do plan on becoming my soul mate, my bonded lifemate, you better commit to me. Once a werewolf binds himself with its mate, the wolf will become more possessive and protective."

He leaned down to steal one more kiss, keeping this one gentle but enough to pour all of his feelings into it, making Harry gasp. Remus smiled fondly down at him, making sure that his mate could see the emotions in his eyes, and he left the room, closing the door behind him.

-------------

End of chapter


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thanks to both lilyyuri and The-Werewolf-in-Ravenclaw for their reviews. I must say, it touched me that you both love this story, just as much as I like yours. Here is the next installment of the story and don't worry... I am not going to end it soon. I plan on making it longer, thanks to the reviewers on thesilversnitch (dot) net, where the story was first published.

**Chapter Six**: _Decisions_

Remus lay awake on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Sirius was nowhere to be found, much to the werewolf's relief. He didn't think he could stand thinking about Harry while his mate's godfather was around, especially when he had been shagging said man while he was supposed to be with his mate. He let out a sigh and turned around in his bed, pulling his blanket closer.

Sirius and Remus had told their sons that they planned on divorcing each other so that Sirius could be with Bill Weasley and Remus to be with his mate. James and Jamie, surprisingly, were understanding. Also, the boys wondered if Harry would mind becoming to their adoptive father and, afterward, tried to make their fathers understand that they still loved them.

"I honestly don't mind," Sirius had said, smiling. "You are old enough to make the decision. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Remus smiled and his thoughts turned back to Harry and he prayed that he would accept to becoming his bonded mate. A tear made its way from his eyes and down his cheek.

---------------

Meanwhile, Harry also stared up at the ceiling above him. He took in a deep breath and released it, though it made his chest shake and for a cough to vibrate up from his lungs to be expelled from his mouth. He reached out and grabbed the glass of water at his bedside. Once he swallowed enough, the man put the glass back and returned his green eyes to the ceiling.

He had to make a really hard decision and only had a few days to do something. On one hand, he could forgive Remus, accept the bond that would make him better, and reestablish their relationship again. On the other hand, he could refuse and wither away, die within a month, and bring Remus along with him, leaving their children fatherless.

Harry rolled over with some difficulty and let out a sigh. He was giving some serious thought to the first option, of forgiving the man he was so in love with. He knew he could do it and his heart was telling him to go with it, but how do you forget eleven years of pain and loneliness? If he did consent to bond with Remus, he knew their relationship would be a rocky one. Harry chuckled to himself. Who was he kidding? He remembered how hard it was to even get Remus to admit that he had feelings for him.

(Flashback)

_Harry had the perfect plan. He had consulted his friends and they agreed on his method. Now all he needed to do was lead the unsuspecting man into the trap or, in this case, room and force him to admit that he was attracted to him. It wasn't as if he hadn't noticed Remus Lupin staring at him for the better part of Harry's sixth year. Besides, Harry was now of age and he intended on throwing that in the werewolf's face if he brought up the teacher-student relationship issue. Harry grinned._

_-------------_

_Remus whirled around when the door shut behind him, trapping him inside with his mate. He could smell the intoxicating scent wafting over the room and he nearly moaned, his blood rushing. He turned back to Harry, who was seated in an armchair by the fire._

"_Now we can talk," Harry began. He gestured to the other armchair. "Take a seat."_

"_What are you doing? Why are you doing this, Harry?" Remus asked, continuing to stand. "What do you want from me?"_

"_I want the honest truth, Remus." Harry lifted his beautiful emerald green eyes to meet Remus' golden ones. "Do you like me?"_

"_Wha…? Of course I do…" Remus stuttered, a blush making its way onto his face._

_Harry let out a sigh and leaned further into the chair. "I know you like me that way, Remus, but do you _like _like me?"_

_Remus paled and he backed up so he was pressed against the wall. Oh Merlin, did he notice that he was staring at him? Was that why he cornered him like this? Was he going to scold him, say that it was inappropriate, that he didn't like him back?_

_His wild gold eyes watched as the younger man stood up and made his way toward him. The scent of his mate grew stronger and Remus could feel his wolf begin to rise, wanting to take over so he could mark and claim him. Remus' breath hitched as Harry stopped very close, leaving little distance between them._

"_Answer the question, Remus," Harry murmured, his voice deepening slightly._

Merlin_, Remus thought as he could feel his pants tightening from arousal. His eyes unintentionally looked down at the slightly full lips in front of him and he felt desire shoot through his veins. He had never felt so aroused before, not even when he dated Sirius and the man was sexy._

_Harry watched, almost smirking when he stopped in front of him. He had his answer, alright, but he wanted to hear it from the man. He could see the desire and want in Remus' eyes but he, Harry, wouldn't give him satisfaction until he got what he wanted._

"_Harry…" Remus' voice had deepened just as Harry's had, sounding even sexier than the younger man thought and he could feel his blood rushing to his groin. The older man licked his lips and made a sniffing sound. _

"_Answer the question."_

_Harry was surprised at what happened next. Instead of getting his verbal answer, Remus pounced forward, his arms going around Harry's neck and his lips met Harry's. Harry moaned when he felt the older man's lips brush his almost brutally and a slick, wet tongue forced its way into his mouth. The two men kissed for what seemed like hours before they had to break for air. Remus' forehead was resting against Harry's, panting harshly. However, it was short-lived as the older man realized what happened and backed up, looking horrified._

"_Oh, Merlin, Harry," Remus said hysterically. He ran his hands through his hair. "I'm so sorry…"_

"_Sorry for what?" Harry asked, staring at the man he loved with his dark green gaze. Remus had to moan at the sight of the eyes dark with want and desire and need. "You wanted it as much as I did."_

"_I don't… you're… what…?" Remus said in one breath, staring back at the younger man._

"_I know you have been looking at me, desiring me as much as I have done the same. And don't you dare say anything otherwise," he added when he saw the older man panic._

"_But, Harry, we can't, even if we do want it," Remus said, gaining his voice back. "It's against the rules. I'm also 20 years older than you, I was friends with your father, and a werewolf. I can't have a casual relationship and I do tend to get rough…"_

"_REMUS!" Harry yelled, silencing the werewolf. As Remus stared at him with shock, Harry continued. "Don't you think I haven't thought of all that by now? I've been wanting you since last year. I am of age, if you haven't noticed, and an adult in the eyes of the wizarding world. The teacher-student thing is null and void. I don't care that you are 20 years older, as wizards live longer than Muggles. I also don't care if you were friends with my father and changed my diapers when I was young and that you are a werewolf." He grinned mischievously and Remus gulped when it sent a thrill through his body. "I also don't want anything casual and neither do I mind getting rough with you." Harry drew closer and Remus let him, his eyes staring hungrily at the young man. "Give this a try, please, and we'll go from there."_

_Harry then pulled the werewolf forward, planting his lips on the other man's. Remus moaned and deepened the kiss, a hand snaking around to tug on the black hair._

(end flashback)

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. After that, they had to keep their relationship secret, meeting up in Remus' office for quick kisses and to get to know each other. Then he remembered when Remus proposed to him. Oh, what a beautiful day that was.

(Flashback)

"_Harry?" Remus' voice called._

"_Yeah?" Harry answered, sprawled out on the couch they had recently bought for their house. The house was still brand new and still had boxes littered about, some opened and some unopened._

"_Could you come outside for a second?"_

_Harry grinned and gave his answer. He tumbled off of the couch and headed to the screen door that led to their backyard and he took in a sharp breath. Remus must've put a lot of work into the backyard, as it was gorgeous. Flowers and a variety of plants lined the house, just like the front, and his eyes followed up to the small hill where there was a man-made pond with a real waterfall, lily pads floating in the crystal clear water. A blanket was laid out by the pond and on it sat a picnic basket. Remus sat on the blanket, smiling at him._

"_This is nice, Remy," Harry breathed as he took a seat next to his lover._

"_I thought you needed a treat, after working so hard on the house with me," Remus said, leaning forward to kiss the younger man. He let it linger for a second before pulling back and pulling out the food._

_The two men chatted and ate the delicious lunch. Both men were good cooks, as they found out, and would often trade off making meals. It seemed that Remus took a lot of time into this meal, as it was wonderful. They shared a glass of wine afterward and cuddled up on the blanket._

"_I never thought I would be so lucky," Remus said, his breath tickling Harry's ear._

"_Mmm, me either," Harry said, smiling and linking his hand with one of Remus'._

"_I mean it, Harry. I was so scared when I found out you were my mate and that I was attracted to you. I thought you would instantly reject me and give in to Ginny's lustful glances." He tightened his hand possessively on Harry's. "But I don't regret giving in, because I have a beautiful, loving lover who remains true." He pressed a kiss to his mate's neck. "I never imagined it would be this good and I find myself wanting to take the next step." Remus slipped a hand to the back pocket of his jeans and revealed a black jewelry box. He flipped it open, still with one hand, and revealed a beautiful white gold band with rubies and aquamarines embedded in the band. He locked gazes with Harry, smiling at the surprise in his lover's eyes. "I want you to be my bonded and mated husband. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up to you, to be there as we tackle whatever life throws at us. Voldemort is gone, thanks to you, and we can now officially announce our relationship. So, Harry James Potter, do you consent to becoming my husband?"_

_Tears sprung in Harry's eyes and he threw himself into Remus' arms. "Yes! Yes, I do consent. I love you so much!" He pulled him into a kiss._

_Remus felt as if his heart could burst as he removed the ring from the cotton bed and slip it onto Harry's finger. He took out another box and gave it to Harry. "Put that on me," he said, grinning happily as his own tears fell. Harry pulled the identical ring out and placed it on Remus' finger._

(end flashback)

Harry stared at the ring on his finger. Even when Remus had given his ring back to Harry, the younger man still kept his on. He gave a smile and ran a finger over it. He could only hope that Remus would accept whatever decision he made and, as he fell asleep, he begun to make it.

--------------------

Sirius often returned to the rooms to see his sons and to see if Remus was alright before heading off the other set of rooms where his new lover, Bill Weasley, waited. Remus shook his head in amusement as he watched his friend leave with a bounce in his step.

"If Dad does marry Bill, we will have to ask him if he could become our adoptive father too," James said, looking up from his Potions essay.

Classes started yesterday and the twins were sitting in Remus' rooms with Lily, working on their essays. Remus found time to sit down and get to know his daughter and found that she was an intelligent child along with having a mischievous streak in her. It made her father think back to his Marauder days and knew that Sirius would be glad to know that these three could be the next generation of the Marauders.

Jamie agreed as Lily stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. She smiled at her werewolf father and turned back to her essay, lying on her stomach on the floor.

"Bill sounds cool," Jamie said. "I mean, a curse breaker for Gringotts? He has to got see some pretty cool things."

Lily giggled, earning looks from her half-brothers. "You do sound like a Ravenclaw, Jamie," she said, smiling at him. "I can see you shooting question after question at him."

"Shut up," he growled as his sister and brother laughed. Remus shook his head and began to mark the essay in front of him.

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Harry fidgeted with his blanket as he waited to Remus to enter the room. He had asked Poppy to tell Remus to come down so he could talk to him. Harry had made up his mind when he woke up again and now he waited, his heart pounding furiously against his ribcage.

He glanced up when he heard the door open and he smiled at the man he loved, who smiled back, although a bit nervously. Remus stepped in and closed the door behind him.

"Hey," the older man replied, sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

"Hey," Harry said, his voice sounding weak. He coughed so as to clear his throat.

"You okay?" Remus asked, his face showing concern for his mate.

"As fine as I can be." He took a sip of water.

The two sat in silence, both not knowing what to say at the moment. Remus desperately wanted to hold his mate's hand but knew he should cut back on doing so until Harry made the decision.

"So," Remus blurted, startling Harry, "what did you want to ask me? Poppy came into my rooms and said you wanted to speak with me."

Harry blew out a breath. "I did." He stared at the golden eyes he had fallen in love with many years ago. "I made my decision last night, Remus."

The werewolf felt his heart literally stop beating for a few seconds. He swallowed, fear clenching at his insides. "And?" he asked, hating the way his voice broke.

The younger man reached out and grabbed hold of Remus'. He smiled at him. "You're going to have to put up with me for the next several years, as I have no wish to die right now."

Remus' eyes widened as his heart pounded in his chest and his wolf howled in victory, much like it did when Harry accepted his marriage proposal years ago. He couldn't believe it. "Y-you're absolutely sure?" he stuttered, tightening his hold on Harry's hand. "You want to tie yourself to me? To become my mate in every sense of the word?"

Harry smiled. "Yes, Remus John Lupin. I accept you as my mate and bonded husband, like I did nearly twelve years ago."

Remus found his lips pulling back to reveal a smile and he launched himself at the young man, forgetting that he was still fragile. He kissed Harry deeply, his tears rolling down his cheeks unashamed. Remus felt like climbing to the world's tallest peak and shouting out that Harry, his mate, was his and that he was going to forgive him. But he knew more than anything that it would take a long time for his young mate to forgive him completely for what he had done and Remus knew it. But now, he didn't care. For now, he was content and knew that Harry was too.

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End chapter.


	8. Author's Note plz read

THIS FIC IS NOT DEAD OR ABANDONED

_**THIS FIC IS NOT DEAD OR ABANDONED!**_

There… that's off of my chest. Anyway, BM, CM, HM is not dead or abandoned yet. I simply lack the ideas for what comes next. So, if you guys would like to give me some ideas as to what to do (other than have Remus and Harry bond again), please let me know.

Also, I am in the market for a beta reader. If you wish to become one, please let me know. You have to be able to read and edit my chapters, also give me ideas as to what happens next. Otherwise, if no one steps up, then I might just do one last chapter and close it down due to lack of ideas.

I will try to find some time to update, but my mind is blank. Besides, I now have a full-time job now and I have to help my family. So, please, let me know what to do next and please be a beta reader for me!

Sincerely yours,

Caelyn Lupin-Black


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